The 7 year itch.

This year on April 19th, I acknowledge my 7th year of living with another mans heart pumping inside my body. My first few years were quite extreme as I tried to recapture what I thought I had lost.
In the last few years it seems that I have become more or less apathetic in my struggle to retain my glory days.

I no longer feel the need to conquer my fears, or feel that I owe anybody anything. Yet,  I do on both accounts.

Much like my TV hero Capt. James Tiberius Kirk, I feel I must die alone, for I took nothing into this world, and I leave it with nothing. Along the way, I know I have made bad people rich, and good people suffer. I know I have worshiped the green monster called money. I have sought to rectify the evil thinking that permeates our society. Yet, all is as it is. It will no change for, or because of me.

Having been reduced to a begging soul, not for a religious savior, but a world where I need not be afraid to die because I cannot afford this months live sustaining medicines. Is it because of the lack of medicine. No. It is because of the people of the United States who are afraid of their voice. Afraid of the bankers and pharma whores. Afraid of a psycho in the White house. Afraid of Police and courts who only want to punish and not provide means to a healthy life.

This is the source of my apathy.

I cannot, change the mind of a person that believes what the media spews. I cannot change the mind of a corrupt government official who believe that the party they belong to is always right.

The ignorance of the unchallenging are the meek that inherit the earth. Good luck with that.

Non-Faith Based Non-Religious Drug and Alcohol Rehab Program

Opting for a Non-Faith Based Drug Rehab ProgramWhy Some Choose a Non-Religious Recovery OptionOne of the most important aspects for any drug rehabilitation program is the fact that it makes people feel comfortable. When a patient feels comfortable, the likelihood of the patient opening up during recovery, making lasting changes for the future, coming to terms with the addiction process and understanding how to keep destructive impulses and cravings at bay will all increase. Being in recovery can help forge connections with others and learn how to transition into ‘normal’ life when they leave the facility.Many of the programs throughout the nation use the same format first used in Alcoholics Anonymous. All of the steps of this process are codified in the “Big Book” of recovery. Even though this method may prove successful for some, others have indicated that they are uncomfortable with the fact that these steps seem rather close to taking on a religious concept with not enough emphasis on actual recovery.Understanding the DiscomfortThere is no denying that Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) has a history of religious tradition. The initial founders emphasized “universal spiritual values in daily living.” Some have suggested that many of the 12-steps are religious in nature. Some of the values that have an overtly religious tone include:Spread the wordImprove the connection to a Higher PowerTurn your life to the control of a Higher PowerAppeal to a Higher Power for helpGet Help Now!800-536-1459FIND YOUR PERFECT METHODUnderstand the different recovery methodologies available.EXPANSIVE OPTIONSEach recovery option offered is first carefully reviewed & selected just for you.IT’S 100% SAFE & CONFIDENTIALWe safeguard any and all information and keep it 100% safe.Even though many proponents will point out the fact that these steps do not use the word “God” (rather opting for “Higher Power”), this is not likely to be enough for its detractors. For example, certain group meetings may begin with prayer and others may come in to provide testimony as to how the program has managed to change their lives. Anyone who grew up with the Evangelical Christian and Baptist movement will consider these elements rather familiar. As a result, it may make some people who do not share these beliefs quite uncomfortable. Non-Religious Alternative OptionsBecause recovery options run on an independent basis, it means that they can approve their own methods as they establish themselves. This means customizing their program in such a way that it takes the use of a Higher Power out, perhaps not including prayer before or during meetings. This is one of the reasons that people opt for inpatient facilities for addiction that have a twelve-step element but do not contain overt religious messages.However, for many others, those seemingly minor adjustments are not enough to persuade them. Many find the entire twelve step process to be religious in nature and decide that they want an alternative format, opting for a non-faith based recovery program instead. Because AA and NA have such religious undertones, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals in California determined in 2008 that forcibly attending Alcoholics Anonymous would cross the separation between church and state.Affiliation IssuesCountless studies have proven that recovery options only work if a patient believes in it and feels compelled to continue with that particular treatment. If a person feels uncomfortable with the discussion, or feels uncomfortable with potential support groups, it may become uncomfortable for them to attend these types of meetings. Simply put, if a person feels as though the information presented is relevant to them, the odds of them continuing upon the same road to recovery, increase dramatically.Studies have shown that the issue of religion is the defining issue, something that makes patients either less likely or more likely to continue their process. A study published in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol  revealed that almost 36% of those participants who attended Alcoholic Anonymous meetings felt negatively about their attendance. The study stated that the appeal to a Higher Power made many people feel uncomfortable. Perhaps some of those patients continue to attend meetings, but with such cognitive dissonance about the actual treatment itself, it is safe to assume that their attendance will not continue indefinitely even if the results appear promising.Of course, it is important to note that religion is not the only complaint that keeps people from attending these programs. Some obstacles that patients face have nothing to do with religion. For example, those who resisted treatment were sometimes simply not ready for a change according to a study published in the journal Substance Abuse and Misuse. Sometimes patients do not take the program seriously or do not believe they need help.Benefits of Non-Faith Based RehabThere are several reasons why patients may choose a non

Source: Non-Faith Based Non-Religious Drug and Alcohol Rehab Program

My Transplant

In 2009-2110 I was dying. It is simple as that. My heart had become twice its normal size in order to keep pumping blood to my body. In early 2110, I was sleeping approximately 16 or more hours a day. I had no energy, I couldn’t walk up a flight of stairs without stopping for a minute or two.

_DSC0109As disease progressed, I lost all interest in anything/ I quit working on computers, I hated going to work and didn’t want to deal with any stress. I started drinking more to get rid of the pain I always felt.  I hated feeling my brain start to fade. Because of the lack of blood and oxygen to the brain, I could not fully form thoughts. I used to love to “debate” politics and sports. But then I didn’t even want to do that. I used to like to work out, but I just could not do it anymore.

I was lucky, or basically charmed. Because my Transplant team at the University of Washington decided to put me on an LVAD, I was able to get on a high status for a transplant. I was still getting used to being a Cyborg, when I got “The call” that a heart was available for me. So basically, I really did not have enough time to go through the trials and tribulations that many of my online heart transplant friends have gone, or are, going through.

I am not a patient person, so as the LVAD made me better, I know I would start getting impatient. But Something or someone was on my side, and I got the miracle of a pre-owned heart.

I was one week away from moving home with my LVAD that is 465 miles away from the hospital. We had made e a deposit on a plane to rush me to Seattle from Spokane it a heart became available.

I flat out was not expecting the call as they said the probation period on the LVAD was 3 months, and it had only been  2 and a half months.

I am a positive guy, so I did not get worried, or scared, however I was concerned that my wife and Kid would not get to Seattle from Coeur d’Alene Idaho in time, Because they said it would happen that night. However, it worked out and they did not do the transplant till the next morning. I could not sleep all night, not from worry of dying, but the worry that they would cancel it.

When I awoke the day after the surgery, before I even opened my eyes, I had a long stream of though where I inserted many variables and came up with a logical conclusion. This immediately told me I WAS BACK.

Is it a slam dunk, NO, but I have energy, and I am getting better as they take me off some pretty heavy meds.DSCN6119

I have a huge appreciation for life, but I don’t have a lot of patience with negative people. I look FORWARD to things now, where I used to think only of the moment.

Life is good, period. I am enjoying my friends and family. One of the things I learned from this experience is how many friends I have. I was shocked how many people called, emailed, or Facebooked me, with their best wishes and prayers.